The Right & Wrong Ways to Support Parents Returning from Parental Leave

The way you treat parents in your organization says a lot about your company values. Does your company respect the boundaries between work and home? Do your benefits and policies make it easier or more challenging to be both a parent and a professional? 

Here’s our take on the right and wrong ways to support parents as they return from family leave after the birth or adoption of a child.

The Right Ways to Support Returning Parents

Don’t make assumptions about professional plans

Ambition for some parents will have more to do with their professional plans, and for others, ambition will be centered around home life. Establish respect for both and give returning parents the freedom to pursue reach projects and promotions as they want to—especially women, who are at risk of suffering the motherhood penalty. (More on that later.)

Providing flexible work arrangements whenever possible

This is news to no one: There are so many reasons—so many—that parents benefit from flexible schedules. Flexibility makes it easier for birth mothers to recover and attend doctor's appointments as needed, anyone who has had a sick child knows that a normal schedule isn’t tenable, and parents’ schedules will depend on childcare availability. 

And if you think flexibility isn’t possible for workers whose jobs must be performed on site, think again! There are plenty of ways to give these workers the flexibility they need.

Offering both formal and informal support systems

Formal support systems like employee resources groups (ERGs) are a valuable tool for retaining employees, and new parents, especially, can benefit from a network of parents in the workplace. 

Informal supports are important too. Last month, I interviewed working moms for an article about supporting pregnant workers, and all of them emphasized the importance of informal workplace support, like a manager simply asking how they can help or a coworker offering emotional encouragement. 

One employer informally introduced a pregnant worker to her peers who had also been pregnant on the job. Those connections made her feel less alone and more confident in her career trajectory post-pregnancy.

Providing childcare supports

Childcare. Childcare. Childcare. Give returning parents childcare options.

For large share of Americans, childcare is both costly and unavailable, and lack of access to childcare keeps women out of the workforce and either severely limits or completely does away with their ability to earn a living.

Support returning parents by providing childcare support in the form of stipends, reimbursement, discounts, on-site childcare, nanny sharing, etc. And don’t forget about backup childcare!

Providing mental health resources

Becoming a parent is one of the most life-changing experiences one can have, and the incredible undertaking leaves many burned out and in need of help. “Mothers are 28% more likely to face burnout than fathers due to caregiving needs,” according to Maven, “and 33% of Black mothers are experiencing burnout, compared to 25% of white mothers.”

About 14% of women will experience some form of perinatal or postnatal depression or anxiety, and 10% will experience postpartum depression for as long as a year following childbirth. Access to mental health services, beyond the limits of an EAP, can help parents stay healthy and in the workforce.

Asking them what they need

To support parents returning from parental leave, simply ask them. Collect feedback on a regular basis to get a sense of what’s working and what isn’t.

The Wrong Ways to Support Returning Parents 

Assuming that your experience with parenthood is the norm

Whether your experience being pregnant and/or becoming a parent was an easy one or a difficult one, don’t assume that others’ experiences will be the same. The more you respect the uniqueness of the parenting experience, the better you’ll be able to care for returning parents.

Focusing only on birth mothers

To be clear, women are responsible for the vast majority of unpaid labor in the United States, and a significant portion of that is childcare, so when planning for support post-leave, women should be at the top of your list. 

However, there are problems with workplace parental supports aimed only at women. First, it ignores the needs of same-sex couples, non-binary parents, and male caregivers. And second, it perpetuates the stereotype that women, and not men, are caregivers.

Work flexibility, mental health supports, ERGs, and informal offers of help should be made available to all parents.

Not providing careful transition time

Parents may not know exactly what they need the day they return to the office from family leave. Some may need to return part-time and work their way back to full-time hours. Some may need time to sort out long-term childcare options. Some newborns will need a great deal of medical care in the first months or year of life. Understand that parenthood requires some working out, especially for first-time parents. 

Not providing options 

Don’t assume every parent will need the same thing. The experience of parenthood will be different for everyone, and while some will need flex time, others will want to resume their old work schedule. Employers that offer a menu of benefits and flexibility options that are allowed to evolve over time will be able to better serve parents.

Assuming returning parents know what’s available to them

The parents in your workforce may not know what supports, policies, and benefits are available to them. Be sure to document, share, and reiterate what you offer, and show them how to access it.

Assuming the motherhood penalty isn’t a problem in your company

The motherhood penalty, or the damage to women’s careers and earnings that occur when they become parents, limits or even completely details careers and livelihoods.

Effects of the penalty include: mothers being perceived as less competent and less committed than their childless peers, mothers being less likely to be recommended for hire and promotions and more likely to be penalized for tardiness. Plus, on average, women with children also earn less than their female peers who don’t have kids. 

Even if you have a lot of female parents in your organization, even if you have plenty of women in leadership positions, don’t assume that women still aren’t subject to the motherhood penalty. Examine internal trajectories of returning parents, especially mothers, in your organization. Is there a glass ceiling around middle-management? Are male parents more likely to be promoted than their female peers? 

And, finally, just ask mothers (and their childless peers): Do you feel that having children puts employees at a disadvantage here? 

Not respecting boundaries

Employers and colleagues will be wise to respect the boundaries of parents in the workplace. If they say they need something, do your best to provide it. If they say they don’t want something, don’t force them to take it.

Emily McCrary-Ruiz-Esparza is a freelance reporter based in Richmond, VA, who covers the future of work and women’s experience in the workplace. Her work has appeared in the Washington Post, Fast Company, Quartz at Work, and Digiday’s Worklife.news, among others.

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